Three Years of Dating in Miami
In Poland, a man who wanted me said so. Here, I learned to stop listening to what men say — and start watching what they do.
By Mariam Abuladze · 7 min read
Before Miami, I lived in Poland for eleven years. And for almost all of that time, I was in a relationship.
I had serious relationships that lasted two, three, four years. And I loved how simple and clear everything was.
If a Polish man wants you, he tells you. You meet, you walk around the city, you go on dates, you talk — and at some point he simply says: I like you. I want to be with you.
You don’t sit there decoding. What is he thinking? Does he actually like me? Why did he wait two days to text? What is this?
You just knew where you stood.
What I expected from this city
When I arrived in Miami, I had very bright hopes for this city when it came to love.
I thought: I’m a young, beautiful, intelligent woman, used to being in relationships, to loving and being loved. I assumed I’d meet my person here fairly quickly.
But that’s not how it went.
I’ve been in Miami for three years now. In that time I’ve had exactly one serious relationship, and it ended in an enormous disappointment when he cheated.
After that, relationships just didn’t work out.
Too much choice
I met a lot of men who weren’t serious. Who weren’t available for anything real.
And I think one of the reasons is the sheer volume of choice. When there are endless people around you, there’s always the sense that someone slightly better is standing just behind them.
Here’s the part that took me longest to accept: even when everything between you is genuinely good — real chemistry, real ease, real enjoyment of each other — none of it means he will choose you.
It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are. Or how smart, or how successful, or how interesting, or how well the two of you fit.
He might cheat. He might quietly be talking to three other people. Or he might simply disappear.
Everything can be right between you. It still doesn’t mean he’ll choose you.
Ghosting, and the speed of everything
Ghosting — disappearing without a word — is very common here, in my experience.
Someone stops writing. Stops calling. And you’re left feeling like you were deleted from someone’s life, without ever being told why.
Then there’s the hookup culture, and the pace of it. A lot of people here don’t hesitate to speed things up: second date, sex, strong chemistry — and then it turns out there’s nothing behind the chemistry at all.
And the relationship just hits a dead end.
Honestly? It was a huge disappointment for me.
What I’d tell you before you move here
If you are looking for a husband, a faithful partner, someone who actually wants to build something — I would think very carefully before looking for him in Miami.
And I don’t only mean Miami. I’ve dated in Fort Lauderdale, in Boca Raton, all over South Florida. My experience was roughly the same everywhere.
There are a lot of men here who know exactly what they’re worth and are used to having unlimited options. And all that choice creates one particular illusion: that the next woman is bound to be better than the last.
The dating apps are the same, only concentrated.
Messages arrive in crowds. Men will invite you abroad, take you shopping, book expensive restaurants. Many of them are genuinely generous. They know how to court a woman beautifully and speak beautifully.
But beautiful gestures and beautiful words are not the same as serious intentions.
Because here, people are generous with words too.
Here, people are generous with words too.
What three years taught me
Ask directly. Early. What are you looking for? What do you want?
Don’t fill in the blanks yourself. Don’t hunt for hidden meanings in a delayed text. Don’t fall in love with a promise.
Watch what he does.
Because a person can tell you absolutely anything you want to hear. It’s his actions that show you who he actually is — and how much room you really take up in his life.
So if you’re happy in a relationship right now, treasure it.
And if you’re about to go looking for love in South Florida — be careful.
It isn’t that you can’t meet a good man here. Of course you can.
But for me personally, three years of dating in Miami turned out to be less a story about love and more a story about learning to choose myself, to see people exactly as they are, and never again to mistake beautiful words for real intentions.
This is only my experience. But maybe someone reads this and realises there’s nothing wrong with her — she was simply in the wrong place, with the wrong person.
